


XVTS!

by thesunflowerchild



Category: EXO (Band), NCT (Band), SEVENTEEN (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Complicated - Freeform, Crack, Huge - Freeform, Long, M/M, Multi, honestly i don't know, my baby
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-01-13 10:09:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21242381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesunflowerchild/pseuds/thesunflowerchild
Summary: someone thought it'd be a good idea to add all the members of exo, bts, and seventeen into a groupchat, and later on someone else thought it'd be an even better idea to add all the members of nct, making it a 50-member groupchatlarge, gay, and crackheaded





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> okay. this one.
> 
> this one is the most ridiculous thing i've ever written in my entire life.
> 
> facts about this crack fic:  
~ most of the events are actually based off of real life - whether it be my own life, something that happens in any of these groups' lives, or something that i see that i think would be good in here  
~ don't judge, my sister and i have a lot of fun writing this  
~ most of the names are original, so if you want the story behind one, just ask and i'd be happy to tell you the story behind it!  
~ there will be s l o w u p d a t e s as this is unlike my other fics that i complete in whole before uploading. this one is more on an idea-to-idea basis, so when i see something that i inspires me, i'll write it and then post
> 
> pLeAsE tell me what you think because if you don't like it, i'll stop posting it
> 
> so, comment and be 100% honest and if you really like it come to my [twt](https://twitter.com/thesunniechild) so you can yell with me about it and maybe if i like you, you can get in on writing it as well :)

**1st Names**

**EXO**

Minseok: One Seok

Lay: 1/3 of the China Men

Suho: Star-Lord

Baekhyun: Bacon

Jongdae: Kitty Chen Chen Kitty Kitty Chen Chen

Chanyeol: Loey

Kyungsoo: Satansoo

Jongin: Dancing King

Sehun: Oh

**BTS**

Seokjin: Two Seok

Yoongi: Jihoon’s Father

Hoseok: Red Seok

Namjoon: D-A-N-C-E Monster

Jimin: Jammed Out

Taehyung: TaeTa

Jeongguk: Tough Kookie Tough Kookie

**SEVENTEEN**

Seungcheol: Old Man Scoops

Jeonghan: Mommy Hannie

Jisoo: Drink Water

Junhui: 2/3 of the China Men

Soonyoung: Star

Wonwoo: Onooww

Jihoon: Midget Yoongi

Seokmin: Blue Seok

Mingyu: Maid!Gyu

Minghao: 3/3 of the China Men

Seungkwan: Booyonce

Hansol: Han Solo

Chan: Chanosaur

**NCT**

Taeil: Awkward

Johnny: Father John

Taeyong: Actual Mom

Yuta: Utah

Kun: Nuk

Doyoung: DingDong

Ten: Dancing Queen

Jaehyun: Space For Rent

Sicheng: What Are Lines?

Jungwoo: Skurret

Lucas: Lucas Beiber

Mark: Canada Man

Xiaojun: Eyebrows

Hendery: Hairy

Renjun: Regina George

Jeno: Chapstick

Donghyuck: The Actual Literal Sun

Jaemin: Starbucks

YangYang: Nazi Baby

Chenle: Chen Chang Walla Walla Bing Bang

Jisung: Dancing Price

**Second Names**

**EXO**

Minseok: #1 XiuChen Shipper

Lay: Sheep 

Suho: Bumble Bee

Baekhyun: Baekyeol

Jongdae: Orange

Chanyeol: Chanhyun

Kyungsoo: Captain Simcoe

Jongin: Yak Nignog

Sehun: Yehet

**BTS**

Seokjin: SockJin

Yoongi: Old Man Yoongs

Hoseok: J-Horse

Namjoon: Expensive Monster

Jimin: #1 YoonSeok Shipper

Taehyung: Gucci Bitch 

Jeongguk: International Playboy

**SEVENTEEN**

Seungcheol: Lips 

Jeonghan: I Parent 28 Ungrateful Children

Jisoo: Uncle Sam

Junhui: Junbug

Soonyoung: #1 SoonHoon Shipper

Wonwoo: Book Hoe

Jihoon: I Am Groot

Seokmin: Decay

Mingyu: Minghow

Minghao: Mingyou

Seungkwan: Kimbap Kidding?

Hansol: Yeah You Know I'm Only 17 I Only Got a Few Dollars

Chan: The Lost Maknae

**NCT**

Taeil: Needs Help

Johnny: Windy Man

Taeyong: Booming System Up Up TY Track TY Track

Yuta: Japan Man

Kun: Will Not Hesitate to Kill YangYang

Doyoung: Youngdo

Ten: Chittaprrr

Jaehyun: 100% American

Sicheng: LoseLose

Jungwoo: Clueless

Lucas: 8/7ths of Dream

Mark: The Square Nobody Wants to Be

Xiaojun: De

Hendery: Ten’s Son

Renjun: Anger

Jeno: Sadness

Donghyuck: Joy

Jaemin: Disgust

YangYang: Fear

Chenle: Rich Bitch

Jisung: Ten’s Other Son


	2. Chapter 2

** _XVTS_ **

** _One Seok _ ** _ added 28 members to  _ ** _XVTS_ **

**One Seok: ** hey guys isn't this cool!

**Two Seok: ** who is this what is xvts and what is two seok

**One Seok: ** this is Minseokie and xvts is x for exo v and t for svt and t and s for bts and your name is Two Seok because I'm One Seok, you're Two Seok, hobi is red Seok and dk is blue Seok. Like one fish two fish red fish blue fish but with seoks instead because we are all seoks

**Two Seok: ** woah weird

**Two Seok: ** wait so who else is on here

**One Seok: ** all of EXO and BTS and SEVENTEEN

**Two Seok: ** so this is a 29 member group chat

**One Seok: ** yup

**Two Seok: ** wow

**One Seok: ** yup

**One Seok: ** hey anyone else who is alive and has gotten these notifications create your own name and we'll take attendance

**One Seok: ** Jongdae that means you don't ignore me i am literally sitting across from you and you are on your phone little bitch

**Jongdae: ** I'm not a dog, nor am I a female. If you were to call me anything, please call me a cat.

** _One Seok _ ** _ changed  _ ** _Jongdae_ ** _ ’s name _

**One Seok: ** you are now my kitty

**Kitty Chen Chen Kitty Kitty Chen Chen: ** Why did you have to make my name obnoxiously long?

**One Seok: ** -_-

**One Seok: ** because you're obnoxiously long

** _Chanyeol _ ** _ changed names _

**Loey: ** I thought dae was the bottom?

**Kitty Chen Chen Kitty Kitty Chen Chen: ** How did you even come up with that idea?

**Loey: ** lol you think I haven't heard you two going at it?

**Jeonghan: ** okay maybe let's stop talking about sex I have eleven innocent children who don't need to be listening to this

** _Jeonghan _ ** _ changed names _

**Mommy Hannie: ** sounds good?

**One Seok: ** you know jin and I are the oldest of this chat and therefore the moms right?

**One Seok: ** and yes dae is the bottom

**Two Seok: ** what he said

**Two Seok: ** but not the other part

**Two Seok: ** it's not like I knew that or anything

**Mommy Hannie: ** well I'm the better mom because I don't let my children talk about sex

** _Chan _ ** _ changed names _

**Chanosaur: ** sigh

**Chanosaur: ** only ten minutes into the chat and mom's already going on about what he thinks we don't know

**Mommy Hannie: ** what

**Chanosaur: ** what

** _Seungkwan _ ** _ changed names _

**Booyonce: ** it's Britney bitch

**_Hansol_** _changed names_

**Han Solo: ** babe Beyonce and Britney are two different people

**Booyonce: ** try me bitch

**Han Solo: ** I'm the amERICAN I THINK I KNOW BOO

**One Seok: ** can we just please take attendance

** _Minghao _ ** _ changed 3 names _

**1/3 of the China Men: ** ooh me likey

**2/3 of the China Men: ** Yeah Hao this is cool

**3/3 of the China Men: ** it's like we're our own subunit

**Wonwoo: ** so… your subunit is the china men but I only know of two

**3/3 of the China Men: ** me (Minghao) jun and lay (from exo) also hyung you need a different name

**_Minghao_** _changed _**_Wonwoo_**_’s name_

**Onooww: ** ...interesting…?

**One Seok: ** good! We're getting more names! now everyone else please add yours in

** _Baekhyun _ ** _ changed 5 names _

**Bacon: ** there. I contributed. u happy?

**Satansoo: ** excuse me but why is this my name

**Dancing King: ** because you are a literal satan

**Satansoo: ** hm

**Satansoo: ** I'm guessing that's jongin

**Oh: ** hey guys

**Satansoo: ** ohh

**Oh: ** what

**Star-Lord: ** ohh

**Oh: ** um, hello

**Booyonce: ** ohh

**Han Solo: ** ohh

**Oh: ** whyyy

**One Seok: ** leave my precious baby alone!

**Jihoon: ** I leave my phone for 20 minutes - 2 0 M I N U T E S - and I get a notification that I was placed in a 29 member group chat between Seventeen, EXO, and BTS. This is going to be the death of me.

**3/3 of the China Men: ** okay well before you go kill yourself at least let me change your name

** _3/3 of the China Men_ ** _ changed  _ ** _Jihoon_ ** _ ’s name _

**Midget Yoongi: ** hell no

**Yoongi: ** gasp

** _Yoongi _ ** _ changed names _

**Jihoon's Father: ** my son!

**Midget Yoongi: ** I'm not gonna win this, am I?

**Jihoon's Father: ** nope

** _Soonyoung _ ** _ changed names _

**Star: ** babe you didn't tell me you were related to bts suga!

**Jihoon's Father: ** Jihoon you didn't tell me you had a boyfriend!

**Red Seok: ** babe you didn't tell me you had a child!

**Midget Yoongi: ** dad you didn't tell me you had a boyfriend!

**Jihoon's Father: ** my son has finally accepted me!

**Star: ** Jihoon's Father can I

**Jihoon's Father: ** please please child call me dad

**Star: ** (⌒▽⌒)

**Star: ** can I marry your son

**Jihoon's Father: ** oh my goo this is the best day yes child of course you can marry my son

**Midget Yoongi: ** Isn't it kinda weird to ask your boyfriend's “dad” to marry his son? It's kind of like asking your brother to marry you.

**Star: ** (｡•́︿•̀｡)

**Star: ** but I'm your boyfriend babe

**Jihoon's Father: ** soon to be husband

**Star: ** i love your dad hoonie

** _Midget Yoongi _ ** _ has left the chat _

**One Seok: ** well fuc

**Star: ** don't worry i got this

** _Star _ ** _ added  _ ** _Midget Yoongi _ ** _ to the chat _

**Midget Yoongi: ** Why do I try?

**3/3 of the China Men: ** we need more bts members in here

** _Jeongguk _ ** _ changed names _

**Tough Kookie Tough Kookie: ** here I am

** _Tough Kookie Tough Kookie_ ** _ changed 2 names _

**D-A-N-C-E Monster: ** no its r-a-p monster

**Jammed Out: ** not anymore dancing machine

**D-A-N-C-E Monster: ** well you've got no jams

** _Taehyung _ ** _ changed names _

**TaeTa: ** sup

**One Seok: ** have we finally got everyone?

**3/3 of the China Men** **: ** hold up

** _3/3 of the China Men _ ** _ changed 3 names _

**Drink Water: ** not alcohol

**Maid!Gyu: ** why? just…. Why

**Blue Seok: ** I just caught on to what's happening with all the seoks

**One Seok: ** ayyyyy

**One Seok: ** one seok

**Two Seok: ** two seok

**Red Seok: ** red seok

**Blue Seok: ** blue seok

** _Onooww_ ** _ changed  _ ** _Seungcheol_ ** _ ’s name _

**Old Man Scoops: ** why scoops

**Onooww: ** s.coups - . - u + o = scoops

**Blue Seok: ** smart man smart man

**One Seok: ** hallelujah praise the lord everyone's here finally 

**One Seok: ** EXO attendance

**Loey: ** here

**Satansoo: ** here

**Dancing King: ** here

**Oh: ** .

**Bacon: ** ohh

**Star-Lord: ** ohh

**Kitty Chen Chen Kitty Kitty Chen Chen: ** I'm here.

**1/3 of the China Men: ** ohh

**One Seok:** …

**One Seok: ** anyway…

**One Seok: ** BTS attendance

**Two Seok: ** here

**Red Seok: ** here

**D-A-N-C-E Monster: ** here

**Tough Kookie Tough Kookie: ** here

**TaeTa: ** sup

**Jammed Out: ** dude why can't you be like everyone else and just say here

**TaeTa: ** who are you to speak since you didn't just say here

**One Seok: ** okay well bts is all here

**Mommy Hannie: ** don't even say it

**One Seok: ** say what

**Mommy Hannie: ** CHILDREN, ATTENDANCE PLEASE

**Old Man Scoops: ** Present.

**Drink Water: ** Present.

**2/3 of the China Men: ** Present.

**Star: ** Present.

**Onooww: ** Present.

**Midget Yoongi: ** Present.

**Blue Seok: ** Present.

**Maid!Gyu: ** Present.

**3/3 of the China Men: ** Present.

**Booyonce: ** Present.

**Han Solo: ** Present.

**Chanosaur: ** Present.

**Mommy Hannie: ** See? I have order in my household.

**One Seok: ** alright han, you're the best mother

**One Seok: ** anyway

**One Seok: ** Welcome all XVTS members to our new group chat between SEVENTEEN, BTS, and EXO! We'll have lots of fun here, I hope.

**Satansoo: ** im still not optimistic

**Midget Yoongi: ** Neither am I.

**TaeTa: ** not sure where the devil gets his pessimism but I'm pretty sure the midget gets it from his father

**Jihoon's Father: ** maybe but at least my child has proper spelling and punctuation

**Midget Yoongi: ** Damn right.

**Mommy Hannie: ** so i guess we have to co-parent then

**Mommy Hannie: ** wait does Jihoon have a mother on your side because I am his mother and coups is his father over here

**Red Seok: ** babe?

**Red Seok: ** should we tell them?

**Jihoon's Father: ** yes

**Jihoon's Father: ** Jihoon has two fathers over here

**Jihoon's Father: ** Hoseok and me are his fathers

**Two Seok: ** but I'm the mother of bts so therefore I am also a mother to any one of my children’s kids

**Midget Yoongi: ** …Wouldn't that make you my grandmother then?

**Two Seok: ** yes

**Mommy Hannie: ** well

**Mommy Hannie: ** I CLAIM CUSTODY

**Jihoon's Father: ** YOU CAN'T HAVE CUSTODY

**Mommy Hannie: ** WELL I ALREADY HAVE CUSTODY 

**Jihoon's Father: ** NO YOU DON'T

**Mommy Hannie: ** HE'S LIVING WITH ME ISN'T HE

**Jihoon's Father: ** WELL I'M HIS FATHER

**Mommy Hannie: ** AND I'M HIS MOTHER THEREFORE I MAKE THE DECISIONS HERE

**Jihoon's Father: ** YOU'RE HIS GUARDIAN NOT HIS MOTHER

**Jihoon's Father: ** JIHOON IS MY BIOLOGICAL SON

**Jihoon's Father: ** GIVE MY SON BACK TO ME YOU CHILD ABDUCTOR

**TaeTa: ** this is gonna be great

**One Seok: ** oh yes

♡♡♡


	3. Chapter 3

** _XVTS_ **

**Two Seok: ** good morning ch ildren

**Two Seok: ** what is everyone doing today

**TaeTa: ** everyones busy thats what

**TaeTa: ** we’re probably the only ones without a schedule today

**One Seok: ** ding ding ding

**One Seok: ** what is the seventeen family doing today?

**One Seok: ** svt?

**Old Man Scoops: ** sorry minosek were a little busy rightn onw

**Jihoon’s Father: ** what even was that

**Jihoon’s Father: ** maybe you should join namjoon in the bad spelling and punctuation club

**Drink Water: ** cheol we’re not busy you just don’t want to talk to the lovely people here

**Mommy Hannie: ** oop

**Mommy Hannie: ** he’s not wrong

**Star: ** well, since you asked, half of svt are in the studio being dance nerds, some are home, and jihoon and i are in the studio being music nerds

**Midget Yoongi: ** Damn it, Soonyoung, why did you have to reveal our secret, undisclosed location to the others? Now they can come bother us.

**Star: ** oop

**Tough Kookie Tough Kookie: ** well if it makes you feel any better me and chim and tae are in a closet playing mario kart so jin hyung won’t see us and crash the game

**Red Seok: ** you do realize what you’ve jst done right

**Tough Kookie Tough Kookie: ** whoops

**Two Seok: ** IM ON MY WAY

**One Seok: ** oh well i guess we’re the only ones who are actually busy right now

**Kitty Chen Chen Kitty Kitty Chen Chen: ** Yes, it seems that way. So, why don’t you put your phone away and pay attention to our radio interview… that we are currently in the process of recording?!?

**1/3 of the China Men: ** well im not busy

**Loey: ** well you aslso dont lvie here so so talking no

**Midget Yoongi: ** That is horrible grammar, punctuation, and spelling.

**Booyonce: ** wot he doesnt live here

**Han Solo: ** babe is you dumb

**Han Solo: ** everyone knows lay isnt a part of exo anymore but is a creep and likes to hang a round them still

**Bacon: ** actually none of that is accurate

**3/3 of the China Men: ** Fact: The reason Lay hasn’t been in any of EXO’s promotions is first off due to the ongoing tensions between China and South Korea. And second due to how his company in China manages him. Lately South Korea and China have been on awful terms due to the whole issue with North Korea. China strongly supports North Korea while South Korea is tying with the US and as you may (or may not) know the US and North Korea don’t exactly get along. Now, what exactly does this political conflict have to do with Lay? Well, Lay was appointed to be Ambassador for the Youth in China. Being an Ambassador makes him a key figure in any sort of political movements. If he was seen to be promoting in Korea with EXO let’s just say his career in China will be ruined. This situation would be the worst possible outcome for SM considering they need Lay in order to break into the Chinese music market. SM is banking on Lay to get him success in China. Recently the tensions between China and Korea have calmed down a bit with China beginning to roll back on their Hallyu Ban. There’s a catch, however, and that is this Hallyu Ban will not be fully lifted until December when all Korean artists are finally being allowed to perform in China. Till then, Lay cannot actively promote with EXO because the ban is not yet over. Which is why SM took this risk to include Lay in their recent comeback (Tempo) by including Lay but not having him perform. That aside, another critical reason why Lay is not part of any promotions is due to his schedule. Contrary to what people think Lay’s schedule in China is not managed by SM but rather his own Chinese management company makes his schedule. And this Chinese management company always seems to have Lay booked for numerous events and opportunities in China leaving him very little leg room to return to Korea and to EXO. In the past 2 years, he has done numerous dramas, movies, CFS, interviews, and variety shows in China. He has even spent time promoting two Chinese albums. With all of this it's no wonder he hasn’t been with EXO, he’s just too damn busy. Even now he’s busy promoting in the US for his first ever English album, SM seems to be planning to make him go global. If he goes global it not only benefits him but also EXO. So, in essence, it is due to all these complex issues that Lay has not been promoting with EXO. However, he has hinted in recent interviews that he doesn’t intend to stay solo as its lonely and he misses his group. So I think it will be the time for him to come back.

**1/3 of the China Men: ** i didnt even know all of that

**1/3 of the China Men: ** AND I AM LAY

**Maid!Gyu: ** hao

**Maid!Gyu: ** [ https://www.quora.com/Why-didnt-Lay-promote-with-EXO-in-their-recent-albums ](https://www.quora.com/Why-didnt-Lay-promote-with-EXO-in-their-recent-albums)

**Booyonce: ** hes been made

**Star-Lord: ** how did you even copy and paste that so fast hao?

**Star-Lord: ** like, kudos to you for doing that so fast 

**3/3 of the China Men: ** oop

**3/3 of the China Men: ** well thanks

**Mommy Hannie: ** oop

**Drink Water: ** oop

**Old Man Scoops: ** oop

**Red Seok: ** oop?

**Old Man Scoops: ** jeonghan just randomly started saying it one day any now it had spread to all the members of svt like a dangerous infections virus

**Mommy Hannie: ** um no scoops my children love me and look up to me therefore they say it out of respect and love for me

**Two Seok: ** right

**Two Seok: ** my children repeat things after me when they’re making fun of me

**One Seok: ** same

**One Soek: ** han are you sure your children aren’t just making fun of you 

**Mommy Hannie: ** gasp

**Mommy Hannie: ** bold of you to assume that my children would ever dare to make fun of me

**Chanosaur: ** sigh

**Chanosaur: ** the things mom doesnt know

**Mommy Hannie: ** WHAT

**Chaosaur: ** WHAT

**Tough Kookie Tough Kookie: ** us too chan us too

**TaeTa:** yup

**TaeTa: ** jin knows nothin, really

**Two Seok: ** WHAT

♡♡♡

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one was short so i'm posting another fun part next! sorry for the late update, i've been uber busy!
> 
> kudos and comments are always appreciated!!


	4. Chapter 4

** _XVTS_ **

_ \- 0147 - _

**Bacon:** hey the bigger the better right

** _Bacon_ ** _ added 21 people to  _ ** _XVTS_ **

**Loey:** bro it’s like 2am why are you texting

_ \- 1100 - _

**Chanosaur:** hey did anyone noice the chat went from 29 members to 50 overnight

**Booyonce:** w o a h

**Oh:** wot hopponod

**Satansoo:** bitch you know how to spell correctly, so do it

**D-A-N-C-E Monster:** seems as if 21 members were added…

**Mommy Hannie: ** gasP!

**Mommy Hannie:** its nct!

**Jammed Out: ** gasp **!**

**Jammed Out:** welcome nct!

**TaeTa: ** EW

**TaeTa: ** GO AWAY

**TaeTa:** YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE

**Old Man Scoops: ** welcome nct to the craziest multi-kpop gropuchat that ever existed!

**Old Man Scoops:** enjoy your stay

**Han Solo: ** you can check out anytime you like

**Han Solo:** but you can never leave

**2/3 of the China Men: ** weird

**2/3 of the China Men: ** but

**2/3 of the China Men:** china men have increased by 166%

**3/3 of the China Men:** yes many more china men

**Booyonce:** just when we thought dino was such a baby

**Tough Kookie Tough Kookie:** new phone who dis

**Chanosaur:** thank the lord almighty i’m not the youngest anymore

**Mommy Hannie:** jisung nugu aegi?

**TaeTa:** ew get them away

**Kitty Chen Chen Kitty Kitty Chen Chen:** Hey, now we can have an amazing vocals club, including: LEE DONGHYUCK, MOON TAEIL, NAKAMOTO YUTA, JUNG JAEHYUN, KIM DOYOUNG, LEE JIHOON, YOON JEONGHAN, WEN JUNHUI, PARK JIMIN, KIM TAEHYUNG, JEON JEONGGUK, BYUN BAEKHYUN, DO KYUNGSOO, KIM MINSEOK, and MYSELF.

**Two Seok:** AND ME

**Kitty Chen Chen Kitty Kitty Chen Chen: ** No, there’s already too many.

**Kitty Chen Chen Kitty Kitty Chen Chen:** BIASED AUDITIONS: ONLY SMers MAKE IT IN.

**TaeTa:** and yet another reasong why i hate sm and nct but not exo except i hate chen right now

**One Seok: ** babe why you gotta be a bitch

**One Seok:** just because sm makes up 60% of this group chat doesn’t mean we are superiors

**Kitty Chen Chen Kitty Kitty Chen Chen: ** That’s exactly what that means!

**Kitty Chen Chen Kitty Kitty Chen Chen:** Pledis makes 26% and BigHit makes 14%.

**Old Man Scoops:** how about the amazing vocals club includes all the vocalists in all four groups/companies?

**Han Solo:** man you guys like percentages

**Kitty Chen Chen Kitty Kitty Chen Chen:** So then it would be LEE DONGHYUCK (who, let’s just face it, is the best singer in the universe and nobody can say anything about it), MOON TAEIL, JUNG JAEHYUN, KIM DOYOUNG, KIM JUNGWOO, HUANG RENJUN, ZHONG CHENLE, QIAN KUN, XIAO DE JUN, LEE JIHOON, YOON JEONGHAN, HONG JISOO, BOO SEUNGKWAN, PARK JIMIN, KIM TAEHYUNG, JEON JEONGGUK, KIM MINSEOK, BYUN BAEKHYUN, and MYSELF.

**Chanosaur:** whys it all in all caps

**Two Seok:** AND ME OH MY GOD ME

**Jihoon's Father:** why don’t we just let nct taklk im pretty sure we scared them off

**Midget Yoongi:** That’s a big group, man.

**Kitty Chen Chen Kitty Kitty Chen Chen: ** Whoops, I forgot some people.

**Kitty Chen Chen Kitty Kitty Chen Chen:** LEE DONGHYUCK, MOON TAEIL, NAKAMOTO YUTA, JUNG JAEHYUN, KIM DOYOUNG, KIM JUNGWOO, HUANG RENJUN, ZHONG CHENLE, QIAN KUN, TEN WHATEVERHISLASTNAMEIS, XIAO DE JUN, LEE JIHOON, YOON JEONGHAN, HONG JISOO, BOO SEUNGKWAN, WEN JUNHUI, LEE SEOKMIN, PARK JIMIN, KIM TAEHYUNG, JEON JEONGGUK, KIM MINSEOK, BYUN BAEKHYUN, DO KYUNGSOO, KIM JONGIN and MYSELF.

**Two Seok:** YOU FORGOT ME YOU ASSWHOLE

**Star: ** asswhole

**Star:** jihoon you are an asswhole: a whole ass

**2/3 of the China Men:** oh yay i’m a part of the amazing vocals club!

**Chanosaur: ** let’s make an amazing dance moves club!

**Chanosaur:** it will consist of: TAEYONG, YUTA, TEN, WINWIN, MARK, HENDERY, JENO, HAECHAN, JISUNG, LAY, KAI, CHEN, CHANYEOL, J-HOPE, JIMIN, JUNGKOOK, HOSHI, JUN, HAO, and ME

**Star:** not as impressive but okau

**D-A-N-C-E Monster: ** wait waht about an amazing rappers club!

**D-A-N-C-E Monster:** TAEYONG, JOHNNY, MARK, LUCAS, JENO, JAEMIN, JISUNG, YANGYANG, CHANYEOL, SEHUN, KAI, SCOOPS, VERNON, MINGEW, WONWOO, YOONGS, HOBI and RAP MONSTER

**Red Seok:** yes or yes

**Drink Water:** this is very entertaining to watch

**Mommy Hannie:** ikr and there’s probably not going to end up any clubs

**One Seok:** how about we just make one club and call it xvcts! and it can have all the members of nct, svt, exo, and bts in it

**TaeTa:** NO I HATE NCT THROW THEM AWAY

**Old Man Scoops:** boi chill waht is your cow?

**Midget Yoongi:** My phone is exploding and I don’t like it.

**3/3 of the China Men:** honestly all i care about is the extra china men

**3/3 of the China Men:** there’s like 8

**Blue Seok:** heh the8

**Dancing King:** I WANT TO MEET THE NCT PLEASE JUST LET THEM IN

**TaeTa:** WHO ADDED THEM ANYWAY

**Bacon:** @kai they’re all literally in this chat and can see everything we’re saying.. they must be busy or just laughing at all our idiocy

**Bacon:** @taehyung i added them your point is

**Dancing King:** HI NCT I LOVE YOU WELCOME TO OUR CRACKHEAD CHAT

**One Seok:** Welcome to what was previously XVTS! and what is now XVCTS! we hope you enjoy your stay (just don’t talk to taehug from bts)

**Two Seok:** I AM NOT IN ANY CLUB YOU FICKERS I’M GONG TO SEU YOU AND YOU’LL ALL LISE YOUR JOBS AND I FYSUCKIGN HATE SM AND I LM GOING TO AKILL SYOU ALL AND I HATE 18 ADN IMD SING TO TO KSILL XO E ECKIGN BITHES I **I HATE YOU ALL JASFKSASAS**

**TaeTa:** AN I HATE NCT LEAE RIGHTNO W AND I LATHE AHTOYU AAAHFAFAH ALEAVE LEA EJELE LEAVEL ELAE LEEL LELE

**Chenle:** someone called?

**Jisung:** wot

**Chenle:** he said lele

**Johnny:** well now we’re here

**Dancing King:** YAAAAAAYAYYAYAYYAYYYAYAYYYYYYY WELCOME NCT I LOVE YOU 

**Jaehyun:** well its nice to know at least someone appreciates us

**Taeyong:** thanks baekhyun for adding us! i hope we’ll have lots of fun in this chat

**Bacon:** welcome! i hope you have a great time too!

**Drink Water:** just watch out for taehyung from bts...not sure what the beef is

**Jihoon's Father:** yeah bro why do you hate nct

**Jisung:** we’re not bad

**Chenle:** we’re actually pretty lovable once you get to know us

**Jisung: ** but chenle still bites so be careful with him

**Jisung: ** he likes to be handled gently

**Jisung:** he also growls if you try to feed him vegetables

**Booyonce:** we have a dino who does the same things…. maybe we can have some tips on how to raise it?

**Jisung:** def

**Jisung: ** it took us a while, but our chenle is pretty tame now

**Chenle:** i swear this cHiLd

**D-A-N-C-E Monster: ** so why does taehyung hate nct

**D-A-N-C-E Monster:** oh by the way welcome to the chat nct

**TaeTa:** theyre big and amazing and i hate that theyre so popular and why do they have so many units when we cant even have one and theyre all from different places like literally arent there like 6 countries and like 13 langauges represented and we’re only from korea and speak one language and theyre so big and huge and have so many great dancers and singers and rappers and visuals and they literally were created to take over the world and their fanname makes senseand i hate them so much liek why are they so stuck up about it all and why do they ate to play big crowds right after u sand go n bg tvshows right after us and tour the america world right after us and have an instagram for each unti and twitter and theyahave vlgodders and singers who rap and rappers wo sing and dancers wo rap anddancers to signa and everyone does everything litrally the’res a fuckgn model in thete and thai people like waht thats not even kpop this is kpop not j or c or a or t or c or t or anything else pop and liek wavy couldnt even be calle d nc t v or nct c because china wouldn’t let them because nct sucks see even china hates nct so now theyre called wavy and its stupid and even superm is stupid because its mostly nct memebrs and why whoudl tehy do tath as if nct doesnt get enought exposure why cant fucking bighit be jinhit and make us biger than nct tno wait bts is better than nct anyway bts is superiror weve been in the game longer and were older and better and colab more and are all korean so were real kpop and not fucking imposters and they suck but btss ist sooooooom cu h better fucktards  [ https://www.theringer.com/music/2019/5/24/18638194/nct-127-superhuman-kpop-sm-entertainment-bts-taeyong-mark-johnny ](https://www.theringer.com/music/2019/5/24/18638194/nct-127-superhuman-kpop-sm-entertainment-bts-taeyong-mark-johnny) AND THIS ARTICLE SDOESNT HELP ANYTHIGNS FJAKJGKA;

**Yuta:** well i have a lot to say to that

**One Seok:** i think we all have a lot to say to that but maybe lets hold off on a chat-destryoing argument just after we added new members

**Jammed Out:** babe calm down

**Tough Kookie Tough Kookie:** yeah nct isnt that bad

**Booyonce:** are you kidding nct is amazing have you HEARD their music

**Jaehyun:** aw thanks kwan

**Blue Seok:** I BEEN WALKING WITH THE CHEESE THAT’S THE QUESO

**Maid!Gyu:** DIAMONDS DRIPPIN BETTER BRING YOUR RAINCOAT

**Chanosaur:** AND NOW WE IN THE ZOOOOONNEEEEEE

**Jeno:** OHOHOHOHH

**Blue Seok:** STAND TO CLOSE MIGHT CATCH A COOOOOLLLDD

**Maid!Gyu:** CRIB CAME WITH A GATE AND A COOOOOODEEEE

**Jaemin:** YEAH YEAH DRIPPING WATER FAUCET

**Chanosaur:** SPLASH

**Yuta:** VVS MY DIAMONDS I DON'T NEED NO LIGHT TO SHINE

**Blue Seok:** ICED UP BOTH MY WRISTS NOW I CAN BARELY SEE THE TIME

**Renjun:** I JUST MADE A MILLION AND IM STILL NOT SATISFIED

**Two Seok:** badapadapada REGULAR badapadapada REGULAR

**Booyonce:** WE MAKE THE WORLD GO

**Chenle:** doo doodoo doo doodoo

**Han Solo:** MY BANK ACCOUNT GO

**Chenle:** doo doodoo doo doodoo

**1/3 of the China Men:** WE MAKE THE WORLD GO

**Chenle: ** doo doodoo doo doodoo

**Jisung: ** BRRRAHH

**Old Man Scoops:** DINERO PESO YEN 

**Dancing King:** LO QUIERO I WANT IT

**Oh:** YEAH PULL UP IN THE JAG HATERS GON BE MAD

**Satansoo:** OH

**Satansoo: ** you just messed it up go away

**Taeyong: ** darn i was just about to say yutas line

**Taeyong:** i never get to say yutas line

**D-A-N-C-E Monster:** see taehyung they have probably the biggest fans within this chat alone

**Bacon: ** i know i speak for all of exo when i say we’re so proud of them… we’re their sunbaenims and we want to have a close relationship with them

**Bacon:** this chat isn’t meant to upset anyone

**Jihoon's Father:** so stop exploding every time nct is mentioned tae

**Mommy Hannie: ** hate to interrupt this interesting convo but minseok are you going to make nct do attendance like we all did when we joined the chat

**One Seok:** oh sure if taeyong wants to

**Taeyong:** sure i can yell at my children to yell back at me sure

**Doyoung:** as if it doesn’t happen every day anyway but sure taeyong can do that

**Star-Lord:** i swear if my children yelled at me…

**Satansoo:** you’d do nothing because you do nothing when i yell at you and i do that daily

**Star-Lord:** thats what minseoks for

**One Seok:** excuse me im older than you don't disrespect your elders

**Star-Lord: ** and just HOW am i disrespecting you?!?

**Taeyong:** so am i doing attendance or…

**One Seok: ** yes yes

**One Seok: ** EVERYONE SHUT UP SO NCT CAN DO ATENDANCE

**One Seok:** okay yong go ahead

**Taeyong: ** okey well then 

**Taeyong:** WHERE ARE MY CHILDREN PLEASE YELL IF YOU HEAR ME

**Chenle:** IMMMMHHEEEEERRRRREEEEEE

**Jisung:** me too

**Jeno: ** HERE MOM

**Jaemin:** ME ALSO

**Ten:** 10

**Yuta:** 此処

**Renjun:** yo

**Doyoung:** sup

**Johnny:** IM HERE

**Taeil: ** technically im not your child but whatever im here

**YangYang:** HEREHEREHEREHEREHEREHEREHEREHEREHEREHEREHREHERE

**Lucas:** SO AM IIIIIIIIIII

**Jaehyun:** and me

**Mark:** mork lee is in da hOUsE

**Donghyuck:** no one cares mark

**Xiaojun:** literally

**Hendery:** jun respect your hyung

**Kun:** you mean ge

**Ten:** no

**Sicheng:** 这里

**Taeyong:** and me

**One Seok:** … is that it?

**Johnny:** there’s a lot of us i know

**Star-Lord:** crasy

**Mommy Hannie: ** *crazy

**Mommy Hannie: ** i couldn’t 

**Mommy Hannie:** the d i s o r g a n i z a t i o n 

**Mommy Hannie:** kudos to you taeyong

**Dancing King:** yeah and having worked with some of them its REALLY kudos

**Taeyong: ** kudos to me for being the leader of 20 almost grown adult boys?

**Taeyong:** i mean its my job

**3/3 of the China Men: ** so are yall gon change your names?

**3/3 of the China Men: ** because i will definately change them for yall

**Lucas: ** first of all its definitely and ofc we are going to change our names, who do you think we are????

**Taeyong: ** ok dreamies + lucas are on name duty and if you want to do your own then do it

**Jeno: ** yesssss

**Jaemin: “** lessss goooooo” - mark lee

**Mark: ** man i taught them good

**Lucas: ** anyway

** _Lucas _ ** _ changed 7 names  _

**The Actual Literal Sun: ** noice

**Starbucks: ** this is accurate

**Chapstick: ** hey!

**Chapstick: ** it was oNE TIME

**Chen Chang Walla Walla Bing Bang: ** why is mine so annyoing

**Dancing Prince: ** because you are *annoying

**Chen Chang Walla Walla Bing Bang: ** no u bitch

**Regina George: ** who even is regina george??

**Lucas Beiber: ** HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO REGINA GEORGE IS?!?!

**Lucas Beiber: ** oh and here are all the names i have on hand

**Johnny: ** on hand?

**Lucas Beiber: ** yeah! i made them up just in case we ever happened to be in a large group chat and needed weird random names

**Mark: ** notice how they’re all names for the dreamies + lucas 

**Mark: ** its official: lucas has replaced me

** _Lucas Beiber _ ** _ changed  _ ** _Mark_ ** _ ’s name _

**Canada Man: ** ok can t complainn

**Johnny: ** yo dreamies + lucas - mark: what about the rest of us?

**Starbucks: ** ooh yes 

**Starbucks: ** i got this bros

** _Starbucks _ ** _ changed 6 names _

**Father John: ** why do i sound like an old catholic nun

**Actual Mom: ** oh yes, this is perfect!

**DingDong: ** why did i ever tell you guys my actual name :|

**Dancing Queen: ** i personally thin k minw is fitting

**Utah: ** ha

**Space For Rent: ** tbh what does this even mean

**Dancing Queen: ** wait wait

** _Dancing Queen _ ** _ changed 5 names _

**Dancing Queen: ** okay yall

**Nuk: ** wait i actuaa;;y like it

**Hairy: ** hairy

**Eyebrows: ** i mean mine is eyebroews

**Nazi Baby: ** nazi baby?!?

**Nazi Baby:** just because im german doesnt mean im a nazi!!!!!

**Dancing Queen: ** it totally does

**Canada Man: ** wait we’re still missing taeil sicheng and jungwoo

**Father John: ** ooh ooh ooh i got this

** _Father John _ ** _ changed 3 names _

**Awkward: ** hmm

**What Are Lines?:** oof

**Skurret: ** you guys forgot me in attendance

**Skurret: ** just saying

**Lucas Beiber: ** and we are complete!

**Drink Water:** that was really interesting to watch

**Mommy Hannie: ** the d i s o r g a n i z a t i o n 

**Actual Mom: ** i s n t 

**Actual Mom: ** t h a t 

**Actual Mom: ** h a r d 

**One Seok: ** okay well welcome to xvcts! Officially!

**TaeTa: ** >:[ 

**Booyeonce: ** WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP

**Maid!Gyu: ** FIRETRUCK

**Canada Man: ** this is going to be fuckign fantastic

**Actual Mom: ** mark,,

**Mommy Hannie: ** THAT LANGUAGE IS NOT ALLOWED IN THIS CHAT, YOUNG MAN

**One Seok: ** @mark yes. yes it is :D

♡♡♡

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, I've been hella busy... 
> 
> As always, please drop some kudos and even a comment to make my day!

**Author's Note:**

> kudos & comments = me happy  
me happy = me want to write more  
me write more = you happy  
you happy = kudos & comments
> 
> repeat :)


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